All I Wanted Was For You To Stay
by breathewithoutyou
Summary: She has made some mistakes, she never thought he was one of them, but after waking up one day she realized that she had to get out. This is the story of the affair between Jude Harrison and Tom Quincy. And how she finally ends it.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: This was posted on this site, but I deleted it. I came across it today and decided that as my favorite story I've ever written I want to share it. It's prewritten so the chapters will be posted quickly but I'm still writing them. I believe the total has come to about 15, but I don't know for sure. I'll post the official first chapter today. Read, review, and enjoy!**

_Prologue_

Jude's POV

It started where everything started. It started in the studio one night. It was really late. I

remember the song I was working on. It was about him. Of course it was about him. It was

about lost oppurtinities and not seeing your true love. I needed to write it, but it was hard

to when he was standing right in front of me. I finished the lyrics and started singing.

I had to close my eyes as I sang. I didn't want to see him there. I was picturing him

and me all alone on a warm pretty island. I was singing to him and it was just us. No

Darius and no Sadie. Just us. I didn't even notice that I stopped singing until I heard him

open the door to the soundproof room. I opened my eyes and tried to smile, but I

suddenly felt so tired. I was tired of pretending that I just wanted to be friends

with him. I was tired of pretending that it didn't rip off little pieces of my heart when I

saw him and my sister together. I was done acting like I didn't care.

I remember that night better than any other night. I remember thinking it was

inevitable, but I still felt that little tug of guilt.

"What about Sadie?" I asked as he neared. He moved closer and closer until his

lips were almost touching mine.

"She's not you." I threw my arms around him and he kissed me. Slowly at first, but then

my fingers wrapped into his hair and his tongue licked my lip, begging for entrance. I opened my

mouth and when our tongues touched the passion multiplied.

Our tongues started a fast frenzied dance droven by love or maybe just lust.

That's when it started. That kiss changed me. Changed us. Forever.

That night I gave him all of me. He was my first. He was still on top of me when he

whispered in my ear,"I'll break-up with her tomorrow."

JTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJTJ

We started seeing each other secretly. He didn't break up with her when he

said he would, but it was okay. It was fun sneaking around. I felt a thrill I had never

felt before. I was finally with the guy I dreamt about and nothing and no one else mattered.

I didn't think they were serious. I didn't think I had anything to worry about. I thought wrong.

Tommy was acting weird for the last week or two and I was hoping that he would finally

break it off with my sister. The day finally came when I was sure they would be done. I was waiting

for him to come in and tell me the good news. I was waiting impatiently in the studio when I saw

him walk in. He looked different.

"Hey," I said to Tommy as he walked into the studio late! Again! "Where

were you?"

"I was uh well..." he stuttered.

"You did it?" I asked excitedly. "You broke up with her?"

"Look. I have to tell you something," he began, but was interrupted by

my sister who sprinted into the room. I was so confused. If they broke up why would she

be here with him?

Sadie sprinted into my studio and started jumping up and down. "Look!" she

said as she pointed to her finger. I looked down, but I couldn't figure out what she was

pointing to. Then, I saw it. A huge diamond ring. On her ring finger.

"I am engaged," she screamed pulling me

into a huge hug.

All I could do was stare. I stared at him. I continued staring even after my face was

drenched in tears. I couldn't move, my whole body was numb. I just kept staring. Even after she

pulled me into the tight hug. I just kept staring at him. He was behind her and facing me. He

looked guilty. I remember thinking 'What? That was supposed to be me! I am supposed to be

wearing that ring. Not her. Not her.'


	2. Chapter 1

AN: This is a really long chap bcz I can't really split it up. The song is Stay by Sugarland and it is five years after the last chapter. I am trying to italicize the song lyrics, but if it doesn't work just know that the short lines are songs. (the first sentence is the song then its a paragraph then song again and it stays to that pattern so hopefully you can tell)!!!

5 years later

_I have been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall _

You were here, lying next to me. Our breathing was ragged. We had just finished, for what the fifth time? We were happy. Well, I though we were. We were together. I thought that would fix everything. Us being together.

_And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call _

I remember begging that she wouldn't call. You would be on top of me and all I could think about was that I hope she wouldn't call

_It's just another call from home _

Home. It should be here in this penthouse apartment; with me. Instead it's a nice house in the suburbs. It's filled with your three kids, a golden retriever, and your wife.

_And you'll get it and be gone _

You'd tell her that it was another late night in the studio. You'd tell her that Darius is breathing down our necks. The album needed to be finished. That you'd be home soon. You'd tell her you loved her as you pulled on your boxers and you'd tell her goodbye right before you kissed me on my forehead.

_And I'll be crying _

I'd be a mess. My hair sticking to my skin and a blanket covering my naked flesh. Tears drenching my face and my mouth opened to fight. Like always.

_And I'll be begging you, baby Beg you not to leave [i/]_

I'll start to yell, but you will pull me in for a kiss and say "I'll tell her. I promise. Then, it will be just you and me! Together forever!" I would believe you and kiss you back.  
_  
But I'll be left here waiting_

But, then you would get off of me right before things would heat up. You'd leave with a peck on my cheek and an "I love you." I believed you and said that I loved you too.  
_  
With my Heart on my sleeve  
Oh, for the next time we'll be here  
Seems like a million years  
_  
It's never enough. I craved you. I needed you. Well, I thought I did. __

And I think I'm dying

I though I was strong. And I was. Before you. But, after you would leave to be with your wife. To hold her and kiss her and make love to her. While you were checking in on your boys I was crying and shaking. I was drinking to heal the hole. I was falling asleep with boxes of tissues and gallons of ice cream. __

What do I have to do to make you see  
She can't love you like me?

I thought I loved you more. I thought you would know that. I waited for you, so you should've known that I loved you more. That I deserved you more. __

Why don't you stay

I would ask myself what was wrong with me. What did I do to make you leave? What did I do to make you leave me for her. What did I do wrong? __

I'm down on my knees

I would get on the floor in the morning I would kneel down and pray. Pray for you to leave her. Pray for you to come to me. We could love each other forever. I would pray for us. _  
_

_I'm so tired of being lonely _

I didn't realize I was alone. I didn't realize I had no one. Everyone left. I thought I could survive with you. I thought I could be happy and the luckiest girl in the world. All I needed was you.

_Don't I give you what you need _

I'd go back to questioning myself as I walked into Gmajor. I would wonder what she gives you as I saw you and her walk in together from my seat in the studio. I would wonder what she does for you that I can't.

_When she calls you to go  
There is one thing you should know  
We don't have to live this way _

You would come up to me in the studio and we would whisper. We would talk about our future. You would tell me how many kids we would have and what our house would look like. I would eat it all up. I would try and hide the passion I felt for each thing you said. For each promise made.

_Baby, why don't you stay _

In the studio I would think that you were gonna stay with me forever. I thought that you would leave her. You would do it that night. And we would be together forever.

_You keep telling me, baby  
There will come a time  
When you will leave her arms  
And forever be in mine _

I thought you would never have to leave me again. You would be with me until the end. We would be happy and create a perfect little family in the perfect house. Together.

_But I don't think that's the truth _

I never thought you were lying. I always believed you. I never doubted you.

_And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting _

Look where it got me. I was 22 years old. And I was alone. I was waiting for you. For you to leave your wife and your family and possibly your job for me. I was waiting.  
It's too much pain to have to bear  
I would hurt so bad. But, then when I was with you I felt perfect. The hole was gone with  
you.

_To love a man you have to share _

I believed that I had to share you for now. I believed that I would be rewarded for tolerating our affair. For allowing you to have both of us.

_Why don't you stay  
I'm down on my knees  
I'm so tired of being lonely  
Don't I give you what you need  
When she calls you to go  
There is one thing you should know  
We don't have to live this way _

Before you would leave I would remind you. I would remind you of our future.

_Baby, why don't you stay _

I would remind you that you could have it all. We could have our future... if you just stayed. You would laugh and say that day would come soon. "Don't rush it," you'd say as you left me on my bed naked. As soon as the door to my apartment would shut the tears would began  
to fall.

_I can't take it any longer _

I thought I could handle it. I was at your wedding. I was at the kids' baptisms. But, I continued to sleep with you. I thought I could handle seeing you two kiss and cuddle at Gmajor. I thought I could handle baby-sitting your kids. I thought I could handle being known as the single 22 year old who had nothing better to do than babysit her nephews.

_But my will is getting stronger  
And I think I know just what I have to do _

Today, I figured it out. I was drinking coffee and watching you two through the window and it hit me, what I needed to do. For me. Not for  
anyone else. Not for you, for me.

_I can't waste another minute _

Did you even see me sprint out of Gmajor? Or were you two busy kissing your wife?

_After all that I've put in it  
I've given you my best  
Why does she get the best of you _

I realized I didn't do anything wrong to you. The worst thing I did was have an affair. I gave you all of me. You were my first. What  
did I get?

_So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine  
Why don't you stay  
I'm up off my knees _

The only thing I prayed for today was to get the strength I need to talk to your wife.  
_I'm so tired of being lonely _

Maybe she will forgive me. Maybe she will leave you and I will have a sister again.

_You can't give me what I need  
When she begs you not to go _

Then again, maybe she will allow you to stay with her. As long as you feed her more lies maybe she will let you stay with her.

_There is one thing you should know _

It doesn't matter though.

_I don't have to live this way _

Because "I'm done" is the last thing I will ever tell you. As soon as I hit the send button we are done. As soon as you see the text on your phone you'll come over and beg me to forgive you. You will try and fill my head with broken promises. Not anymore. I am done. Never again will I be the one that sleeps with you. From this moment on you will only have Sadie.

_Baby, why don't you stay, yeah _

Until I talk to her. Then, maybe you won't have anyone. But, it doesn't matter.  
Because I am done.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I've decided to post more chapters tonight. I'm just in the mood for this story. I don't own anything you recognize. Please review! I hope you like this chapter; I love it. **

Two weeks later

"Hey Sades," I said as she opened the door.

It's been two weeks since I ended it. I miss him like crazy, but now when I look at

my sister I don't see her as the enemy. I haven't told her yet. I don't know if I will. As I walked in to

her perfect house and her perfect life, I realized that I didn't want to be the one to ruin it. I am not

going to be the one to crush her.

Besides the thing between Tommy and I... it's over and it will not happen again.

"Oh thank god!" she said. Then, she yelled upstairs, "She's here!"

After her comment all you could hear was footsteps. Suddenly, I was on the ground.

"Hey Matt! How are you Nate? What's up Ryan?" I said to each of the kids while they

were on top of me.

"Hi Aunt Jude," they all said at the same time.

"Okay kids get off! Go put on your pajamas," Sadie ordered, when they left she

turned to face me, "Thank you so much for doing this Jude! I really appreciate it. Tom

and I just need a I was hoping that maybe you being with the kids could distract

you."

Oh yeah, Sadie thinks I am absolutely heartbroken because I was dumped by a

pretend guy I was apparently seeing. Hey! I had to tell her something! I figured saying "Well, I just

ended the five year affair I have been having with your husband," wouldn't have sat well with with

her.

Besides, I had to explain why I haven't been coping well these last two weeks.

"Are you sure your eating? You look awful thin," Sadie said. She always babied me

even now when I am 22 she treats me like a child.

"Yes, mom! I am eating," I said sarcastically. The truth was I had lost weight; I haven't felt

like eating lately. And I know I look awful! I am wearing a pair of sweats, a

tank top, and sunglasses to protect my identity. My hair is in a sloppy bun and I

am not wearing any make up.

I haven't felt l like living without him. I haven't been out of my apartment in almost two

weeks. I told Darius I was sick and started recording in the make shift studio in my apartment.

"Good. But, there is food in the fridge so help yourself. I made your favorite," she

said grinning at me.

"Score! You made macaroni?" I asked, a smile filling my face. Maybe I will eat tonight.

"Of course! I know you can't cook," she said laughing.

"Hey," I heard from behind me. This was the moment I was dreading since I let

Sadie talk me into babysitting. I turned around. There he was. He moved slowly

towards Sadie and wrapped an arm around her waist and quickly pecked her cheek. That

small action hit me with so my force that I almost collapsed and tears stained my eyes. I

wiped them before Sadie noticed, but I knew Tommy saw the tears.

"Hey," I said trying to act normal.

"I am uh sorry about the break-up. With uh Ben? Right?" he asked slowly. I turned

to Sadie who was wearing a sheepish expression.

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind that I told him. I figured he would have known. You

two are like best friends," she said abstentmindely, "Anyways, I was thinking

maybe you would like this one guy..."

"No," Tommy and I said at the exact same time. We both looked at each other. My

heart called out for him. My mind told me that I should go out with the other guy. I need to

move on.

"Well," I said reconsidering. I looked Tommy straight in the eye as I said to

Sadie, "Why not?"


End file.
